Wednesday, 30 October 2013

End Times Speculation

Got questions about the end times? Wondering when Jesus will return? Don't worry, Mike Vinson and his IWWB cult-group have got you covered.

In a recent study, Mike goes into some detail about why he believes that Jesus physical return is imminent. Mike's rationale? Here it is: It all has to do with horse and buggy versus motor vehicles.

No, that's not a joke. Mike apparently believes that we all need to "wake up and smell the coffee" because, according to him, Jesus return is right around the corner and it all has to do with the ingenuity of man and recent technological advancements. Sounds legit.

And what does this mean? Well, as has been covered before, Mike is really looking forward to deposing world-leaders, eating hamburgers, walking through concrete walls and of course, kicking dissident ass 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

This is highly amusing to observe because Mike uses his "spiritualization" fallback position to rationalise major portions of the biblical text. If you aren't aware of what this is, this is where Mike will take an obvious contradiction, or a proven failure of the scriptures, and say "this is a spiritual message, but packaged in such a way so as to blind those who are reading it." This is Mike's go-to method for getting the bible off every little slip up and error that it makes.

Take for instance Jesus words that "this generation" would not pass until everything he (supposedly) said, had come to pass. This includes, via the context, all of the events of Jesus foretelling in Matthew 24, which is essentially an apocalyptic blow-by-blow of what will take place before, and when, Jesus Christ returns.  

According to Mike though, Jesus wasn't really serious about these words, hell no - he was "speaking spiritually." Ah, can anybody say "how convenient!?"

And don't forget, Jesus isn't coming back for just any Christian who professes his name. No sir! It's only Mike's brainwashed spiritual elite who qualify to rule and reign with Jesus. Part of this qualification is that Mike and his group have purged themselves of the evil taint of celebrating birthdays, and wedding anniversaries. Not only that, but Mike's group is, according to Mike and his elders, the only group teaching "truth" in the world today. 

Mitch Kuhn, IWWB vice-president in all but name, has stated that there may be other groups out there, but that these groups would be in agreement with everything IWWB teaches, and as such, there would be no points of difference! Honestly, you really can't make this stuff up. 

Anyway, listen below to Mike give his acolytes the brief on Jesus soon coming return.

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